Y3K — IT in 3000 year

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It’s many years since Flickr has collapsed — the Flickr chief web designer, who read too much about old days CSS trends, glued together all Flickr images in one single sprite (googol to googol pixels in size) in order to boost site performace.

According to the websites, the most widespread address used in the fake accounts while registration at the websites, is still “Obama street, 1“, since that address is valid anywhere being present in any city of the planet.

Google is on its last legs, slowly but surely. The problems appeared when crio-time traveling became popular (i.e. person is freezed for 100-200 years, while his/her money is raising, and (s)he wakes up rich in the future). Though Google has had a policy to delete a user account after 50 years of inactivity (as it was almost 100% guarantee that the user is dead), now, when people could not check mail for centuries and remain alive, it became clumsy. There is not enough room on the Moon for Google servers farms, but the leadership still believes that giving away 2 zettabyte for an email account is cool.

The minimum length of new email accounts is hundreds of characters (fortunately, Yahoo marketers made a PR campaign and set the fashion having a huge email address. Nevertheless, you can buy a modern concubine robot for the email address up to 20 characters long).

The legendary Soviet module of express-repair is built in all the gadgets: a snarking device resumes to work after you kicked it.

After World Community Grid has found an AIDS cure, its power is addressed to solve alchemical tasks. Lead becomes very expensive — it’s literally worth its weight in gold.

OpenID has risen from the ruins when they guessed to use a user’s DNA as an unique identifier, but termo-rectal crypto-analysis is still working.

Earthmen triumph: Alpha Centauri aliens finally agreed that the numberation system based on integral numbers are much more useful.

Twitter overtook the Wikipedia 3000 by volume of data stored since it started making a copy of the universe of a few parsecs radius around the user at any time, after which it was shown that googol number is not that large.

A usual programmer looks like a pirate — a bandage on one eye is a device with a computer image projected directly into the eye. Autist programmers go with the band on both eyes.

After the nuclear power plant collapse on the Chinese continent of Antarctica the term “Schrödinger Cat” lost its meaning, because animals stopped dying from the external disturbance.

At school, the multiplication table in the first grade must be learned up to “the answer to life the universe and everything“.

Popularity of services to generate the musical albums, where you can make mashaps of singers, drummers and guitarists of all known groups of any stage of its creative work for any language and musical style, fades.

But on the other hand it’s becoming popular to go to the cinema on a bet at least on the “Alien”: the television and movies learned not only how to smell (it was guessed quickly — American films died as a class after this), but also how to transmit the taste and tactile sensations of various intensity degree, so the probability to survive after the watching the “A Nightmare on Elm Street” is about 5%.

The greenhouse effect has increased the oceans and made the land very expensive. Ocean underwater offices are very popular, and the expressions of “office plankton” and “offshore development” got another meaning.

Originally posted in Russian at developers.org.ua. Images are borrowed from It’s funny because it’s true blog.

2 Responses to “Y3K — IT in 3000 year”

  1. create a blog Says:

    I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work. 🙂

  2. Martien de Jong Says:

    Nice one 🙂

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